Missing
by artemisfae
Summary: Liz has been abducted by someone she knows. The FBI hid the information from Red and he is furious, but Red may have been the one to pay for her abduction to begin with. Eventual Lizzington. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is the beginning of my new fic. It's a tad bit darker than my previous works. This whole thing is going to be rated M probably for torture. Eventual Lizzington, as always.**

**Chapter 1**

Elizabeth Keen has been missing for four days. The FBI has no leads. They also have yet to tell Raymond 'Red' Reddington.

At first, it was because they genuinely believed him to be behind her disappearance.

That maybe he swept her away to keep her safe from the Alliance that was after Reddington as well.

After having Red under constant surveillance while he was away on business in Madrid, they conclude that he had nothing to do with it.

No one wants to tell Red what's going on, but as soon as he exited the elevator at the Post Office on the fourth day of Liz's disappearance, they know they can no longer avoid the shit-storm that's about to rain down on them.

Looking tan and dapper as usual, Red strolls through the post office as if he owns the place.

The entire team is gathered in the war room, looking to Assistant Director Cooper for guidance, to deliver the news that might cost them all their lives.

"Hello Aram, that tie is splendid. Is that a Tom Ford? It looks like a time Ford…Samar, my desert rose, you really should wear your hair like that more often...Donald, I trust that you have yet to slip on any banana peels today? However, the day is still young, give it..." Red's monologue died off as if just noticing there was a problem.

Samar stood as if she were bracing herself for a physical blow. Aram couldn't keep eye-contact and had tears in his eyes.

Ressler kept direct eye-contact, trying to spark a confrontation. Spoiling for a fight to ease his guilt over his missing partner.

Looking from one to the other, it clicked on just who hadn't joined their little party.

His voice was the most threatening rasp any of them had ever heard. "What have you done? Where is she?"

Cooper walked forward, taking the lead on explaining the situation, much to everyone's relief.

"Agent Keen has gone missing. We thought you might have information on her whereabouts."

Dembe put his arm on Red's shoulder as he reached inside of his jacket as if her were going to pull a gun on them. A caution.

Red paused, twisted his tongue in his mouth for a moment before speaking "I was away on business. What makes you think that I am the party responsible for her misplacement?"

Aram finally spoke up "You were her last phone call. No other activity was logged after that."

"So instead of asking me, you let her go unfound for four days?! How and the hell can you claim that your agency has even a molecule of 'intelligence' at this point. She could be dead by now, and I swear to you if that is the case, there is no corner of the earth that you will be able to hide to keep me from exacting vengeance upon you… I will contact you tomorrow."

With that, he walked out of the building with measured steps, keeping a calm façade when all he really wanted to do was shoot every single incompetent being in sight.

The rage of Raymond Reddington was a living, breathing being, palpable in the confines of the vehicle.

Dembe was already on the phone, getting their forensic tech team on her cell and bank records.

He had a moment before Dembe finished so he remembered his last phone call to Lizzie.

She told him that he didn't need to be flying to Madrid so soon after being shot in the chest. Her worry was quite endearing, but his business was unavoidable.

So he offered to let her come along and play nursemaid, but only if she wore the dress of his choosing.

Only half kidding, he expected her to be outraged at his perverse statement.

Instead, she replied 'If I thought it would keep you safe and in one spot, I would be your naked nursemaid, but we both know that you are too stubborn to listen to anyone."

It was in that moment, that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Elizabeth Keen cared about him far more than he realized.

He thought she just cared for him as a friend or mentor. Her statement, out loud, of a more sexual nature was the best thing he had heard in decades.

They fought, he left anyways, but promised to come back home to her safe and sound. She then whispered 'I hope so Red, you're not the only one connected to this, to us' and hung up before he could begin to reply.

He was buoyed by the fact that their relationship was changing. Evolving into what he had so hoped for from the moment she first walked down the stairs of the cat walk at the Post Office.

He was enraged, grieving from his knowledge of the statistics that would repeat what he already knew: The chances of Lizzie being alive are slim to none at this point.

Rubbing a hand over his head and neck, he waited for Dembe to finish his call.

Across town, in a small house for removed from any neighbors. A man was digging a hole in a cellar.

He knew logically, how deep a grave needed to be. It was hard to concentrate. He had been waiting years for his revenge.

He delighted in telling his captive everything he was going to do to her. He even apologized for what he had already been done.

He couldn't help it. It needed to be done. She was a very bad girl and now that he had the means to do so, he was going to make her pay, for however long her miserable life lasted.

He paused to wipe the sweat from his brow, he really wasn't used to this hard of labor.

Across the room, tied to a couple of boards, nailed in the shape of a cross, she called out to him. Her voice was nothing but a broken whisper of its former integrity. He loved that he had broken her, as she had broken him.

"Nick... Ple..ase"

Tbc…

**Let me know what you think! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for the wonderful response to this new fic. I wanted to get an update to you soon, since I will be busy over the next couple of days. Thank you for taking the time to read!**

**Disclaimed, as always.**

Liz had no idea how long she had been here, nor how much longer she could keep going.

Nick was a physician and knew just where to cut to make her hurt, make her bleed.

When he was done, he apologized profusely, tears running down his cheeks as he sutured the wounds he made.

He promised that the scarring would be minimal, if non-existent. That is how they spent their days and nights. He would start the morning off with him cutting all over her body, seemingly random, but to exact to be totally indiscriminate.

When she had nearly bled out during the last session, he merely transfused more blood to her.

Was she even herself anymore? She knew that madness was creeping up on her from the absurd amount of times she had the urge to laugh.

Never to cry, she wouldn't give him that. However, she did break a vow to herself and begged.

She didn't want to die, but her pleading fell on deaf ears until she gave up.

He was insane. She should never have called him, but she no matter what he was putting her through now, she couldn't bring herself to regret calling him.

He saved Red's life, and that is all that matters to her.

Red, she may never see him again. In fact, she wasn't counting on it.

During her short respites while Nick would sleep, she would think of Red and imagine that she told him all of the things that were left unsaid.

But most of all, she had said her good-byes.

Red couldn't believe that his team could find nothing. The FBI had nothing. It was as if a phantom had stolen her into the night.

Red knew better, but was more and more despondent by the hour. It didn't take a genius to figure out that since he hadn't been contacted, this wasn't a revenge snatching.

No, it was personal. Red immediately thought of Tom and confronted him.

Tom knew nothing, but unfortunately had one more hole in his body to show for it.

He would recover, but the limp he would always carry would remind him that Raymond Reddington was a man with which one did not fuck.

At three in the morning, his cell phone rang, waking him from a light slumber in a recliner in his apartment.

"Hello?"

_Mr. Reddington, sir. I may have found something. We couldn't get a look at his face, but we saw him carrying her… a body and putting it into his trunk. He later stopped for gas and paid cash. I hacked into their surveillance footage and got the serial numbers from the bills, but am coming up with a dead-end. It's all we have, sir. "_

Aram was breathing heavily by the end of his speech, terrified of Red's reply.

"Thank you for calling me, Aram. It will be faster if you text Dembe the serial numbers or pictures of the bills, we can look into the matter much faster than taking a trip to the Post Office." He was going to hang up, but then decided on one more statement "I know you care about her Aram. You searching all night long is testament of your friendship. Thank you."

Walking out the living room, he found Dembe and Mr. Kaplan, tirelessly researching for her location or who might be behind this.

"Dembe, we have cash serial numbers that link us to a man seen carrying Agent Keen to a vehicle and depositing her into the trunk. Find where that money came from."

"Of course, Raymond."

He had to distance himself from the situation. Hearing from Aram that she may not have been alive when transported was like a knife to the chest. It was all he could do to breathe.

Calling her Agent Keen was the only thing keeping him sane.

It was an hour or so later when Mr. Kaplan approached him.

"We found the money trail."

He stood, ready to act on whatever she was about to tell him.

"Let's have it, then."

She sighed and looked back at Dembe.

His voice deepened impossibly "Kate, tell. Me. Now."

"Raymond, it was your money. Laundered through the service that you use."

He sat down, before he passed out.

"Are you saying that someone in my own organization is behind her capture? I need to know exactly where that money came from and where it went."

It will take time, but we are already searching. I just wanted to give you an update."

"We don't have any more time!"

Mr. Kaplan went to him, hugging him to her despite his murderous anger.

He just clung to her, allowing himself the comfort she offered. Soon, there would be no comfort for anyone.

When he had a name, a manhunt of the likes they've never witnessed will ensue.

Whomever had her, or had anything to do with her disappearance will pay.

**A/N: Let me know what you think of this new one.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Um, Wow, thank you for the amazing response! I am already a couple chapters ahead, so will have consistent updates for you guys. You guys are the best! **

**Disclaimed, I own nothing and make no money.**

**Chapter 3**

Mr. Kaplan and Dembe stood in front of him, blocking his exit.

If he didn't leave, he would irreparably damage his relationship with both of them.

"You gave him five hundred thousand dollars without checking if he was a mass murderer or terrorist?! What the hell would possess you to ever do that?"

Mr. Kaplan answered before Dembe could. "Raymond, you needed that bullet removed. Elizabeth called him because we had no other options. We had neither the time nor the resources to have him properly vetted before he dug the bullet out of your chest."

He was dying. That was the only reasonable explanation for the unbearable pain in his chest that he was experiencing.

To think that he was the reason that not only that man was in her life again, but that he had funded the madman's vendetta to kidnap Agent Keen, was more than he could process at one time.

"Pull every scrap of information on him. I want to know every building that he has ever visited in the past decade. He's got to be holding her somewhere close. As a physician, he has ties to the community that will give him away."

Dembe finally spoke up softly. "We have already started with information on him and everyone in his immediate family. We will find her. We have it narrowed down to eight properties. Those are the furthest from neighboring structures. He wouldn't want her close to anyone that could find her."

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. That was the only way he was going to stay calm.

"Call every available team member on standby. I want results today."

He left them for his bedroom. He opened a safe in the wall and pulled out a picture of Lizzie that was taken a few weeks after he revealed himself to the FBI. She was smiling, walking her dog, and talking to a little boy in the park that wanted to pet Hudson.

For the first time since he learned of Lizzie's disappearance, he opened himself up slightly to the rage and grief inside of him. He knew if he didn't, it could spill out and cause Lizzie her life.

Like depressurizing a dam, because if that dam broke, the current would destroy everything in its path.

"Elizabeth, come now, eat."

She held her mouth and eyes closed, kept her head turned away and ignored him.

"I am perfectly content with your resistance. In fact, it will make my job that much easier."

After feeling the sharp prickle of the drugs entering her system, she welcomed the blackness.

She did not however, welcome the feeding tube that she woke up with.

She would have ripped it out, but she was still tied down to that awful table.

She almost longed for the pit.

Red received a phone call from Aram later that day. He didn't even wait for Red to say hello before speaking in a whisper.

_Mr. Reddington, I've narrowed down her location. He had a grandmother that dies recently and the will is still in probate and hasn't yet transferred into his name. I triangulated all of the CCTV cameras in the vicinity and his vehicle has been in the area numerous times. I know you will get her and…take care of him. He doesn't deserve jail. I'm texting you the address._

"Aram, your talents are wasted with Uncle Sam. Your loyalty will be rewarded."

He rushed to Dembe and Mr. Kaplan, who both jerked their heads in his direction, on high alert.

"I have her location. We need to move on this now."

Mr. Kaplan took a deep breath before replying "We need to check this out. If this is where she really is, then we need to assess the situation and plan. I know that you know that, Raymond. I also know that you are anxious. We all are. She is one of us, but we have to use our heads."

With that unwelcome voice of reason and logic, Red tossed Dembe his burner phone with the text, and moved to his bedroom to prepare.

Red knew that Dembe was furious. The only allowance he made for his dear friend was wearing a Kevlar vest over his suit, but under his jacket. He would not be excluded from her extraction.

He knew they were thinking of drugging him so he would be sure to not consume anything until after they had Lizzie.

Red already has his jet on stand-by. He's called the pilots himself, he's made arrangements for his house in the Mediterranean to be cleaned and ready.

A full medical staff, complete with physicians, nurses, and specialized CPR certified guards are standing by for their arrival. Kate would suffice for the trip.

To hell with the FBI and what they wanted.

He hated to think of the condition that she might be in, but had to prepare for every eventuality.

He refused to even think that she might not be alive. He couldn't go there, even in the hypothetical.

Therefore, everything was planned as if Lizzie were only injured.

He just kept telling himself that she may be injured, but she would be fine.

He hadn't been here in hours. Good. She hoped he had been in a car accident and died.

She didn't care if that meant she would be left to waste away. She had retreated to a part of her mind where nothing hurt.

There she was with Red. He held her and made everything go away.

She just kept humming the song from the music box, over and over.

He hated it when she hummed. That's why he's been gone so much. He knows she's been with Red and it infuriates him.

Someone was here. There was a creak in one of the floorboards above her. He must be mad again. He usually avoided it so that he could scare her.

She just kept humming. It was where she was happy.

**A/N: Ah, the angst. Don't despair too much though. I can promise you that next chapter they will be together again…kind of. Let me know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Rated M for implied non/con abuse. I tried to write it away, but a future chapter addresses it and it would mess up the organic flow, and no matter how many times I try to change the things I type out, I always come up with a block when fixing it. You have been warned, DON'T READ if you are not ok with that.**

**Crap. I am so nervous about this chapter.**

**Disclaimed, I own nothing.**

**Chapter 4**

The raid went off perfectly, minus one huge factor.

The house was empty. They checked the entire property for Lizzie, but she was nowhere to be found.

He stood with Dembe, just making eye contact, his mind racing with rage and despair when he heard it.

Music.

"Start punching holes in the god damned walls." His voice was a low rumble, but everyone snapped to comply as if he had shouted.

"Here!"

He moved to the kitchen to where there was a false wall to a cellar. Must have been an old fallout shelter from the cold war.

They moved the wall and Red shouldered past them. Dembe tried to hold him back, but there was no stopping him.

The coppery smell of blood was everywhere.

He didn't immediately see her, but the music was getting louder.

A surgical table sat against one wall with an entire surgery set-up around it. Supplies lined the wall in sterile-looking bins.

There was a single heavy chain leading into a pit. Like something that would hoist an anchor onto a ship.

He peered into the pit and shined a light down to the bottom.

If he lived to be one hundred years old, he would never forget the sight that greeted him.

It was _her… The music was her._

He moaned and dropped to his knees, dropping his assault rifle and scrambled to unchain her.

There was a heavy duty lock on the chain. Without a key, they would probably never get the rusty lock picked.

That wasn't the worst part.

His Lizzie was covered in dozens of sutured cuts, everywhere but her neck and face.

"Oh, sweetheart, what did he do to you?"

The humming paused at his voice, but then continued louder.

Dembe was working on the lock, but even he was having trouble lifting the chain to manipulate it.

From above their head, he heard "We've got company, sir"

Red was torn. His rage was a vice, tightening on his heart and screaming for vengeance.

However he couldn't bring himself to even contemplate leaving Lizzie chained.

Dembe was the better lock pick.

He looked at him. "I am trusting you with my life."

His men pulled him out of the pit and he made his way up the stairs. He would be waiting for him at the door.

They made too much of a mess locating Lizzie to maintain the element of surprise once he was in the house.

When Nick walked through the front door, Red really had every intention of questioning him. However, seeing him sent him into a rage so great, that the second the door was open and inside, Red pulled his silences weapon and immediately put bullet after bullet into the man's body.

He was probably dead after the first few bullets.

Red made sure of it with sixteen of them.

He didn't even wait for the body to twitch from the last bullet before swinging around and returning to Lizzie.

Dembe was lifting her gently up, readying to pass her off to the waiting paramedic on their team.

Lizzie was covered with a thin sheet. It really didn't hide much, but it preserved her dignity as much as possible.

He should have remembered to tell them to bring thicker blankets.

Mr. Kaplan took over for the plane ride. No one was to know their destination but Kate, Dembe, himself, and the pilots.

The last thing they needed was the FBI on their tails in the name of doing the right thing.

If he never saw them again, it would be too soon. Their betrayal was inexcusable. Aram had effectively redeemed himself.

The others, not so much.

Kate looked her over on the plane in the private bedroom in the back.

They had already been in the air for a half an hour when Kate came back out, looking as if someone had died.

"What is it?" He had taken a mood stabilizer earlier, just to deal with the news that he knew he was going to have to hear.

"Raymond, I am unsure if you have the proper environment to care for her in Cirakan."

He had an enormous estate on the coast of Turkey. The turquoise coast was his first choice for Lizzie's rehabilitation.

"What did you find?" he repeated. He tried for a threatening tone, but Mr. Kaplan just wasn't intimidated by him anymore.

"I am not so much worried about her physical condition as I am her mental condition. I sedated her, because frankly, I didn't want her to have to go through the exam after she had been through so much already. I won't lie to you Raymond… there's slight internal bruising to accompany the myriad of cuts on her body, which by the way should heal beautifully. The bastard must have plastic surgery experience. He didn't want her to scar, but to just bleed. Without her testimony, we don't know exactly what happened. Tell me he's dead, because if he's not, I'm taking the first flight back to the states and I'll take care of him myself."

His grief, in that moment, was immeasurable. His very worst fears were real.

"He's very dead." Not dead enough in his opinion

His agony an inescapable, oppressive weight on his chest.

He looked down and then up at Kate as one tear fell. "Did she speak?"

Kate looked away from the sight of his distress. "No, she just hummed continuously until the drugs took effect. A hauntingly beautiful tune, but you have to understand that Elizabeth is broken. She may never recover and you have to be prepared for that."

He stood up, done listening. No matter how righteous her intentions were, he wanted no part of even contemplating such a future.

Once he entered the bedroom, seeing her on the bed, dressed in one of his shirts, he knew that he was out of time.

He had been holding everything for far too long.

He shut the door and locked it and turned down the lights so that they were little more than a muted glow.

He laid beside her on the bed, careful not to touch her or disturb her.

Just faced her. Drank in the sight of her.

It was there in the dark confines of a cramped airplane bedroom that Red spilled every feeling, every emotion that he had bottled up out into the open.

His silent tears fell to the pillow below where his head was propped.

It was there that he made promises that everything was going to be alright. That he would spend every dime he had getting her the help that she needed. He would kill and steal and lie if that wasn't enough. He would protect and cherish her until his dying day.

It was there that he told her how very much he loved her.

He must not have been as quiet as he thought because she began to stir.

Frozen, afraid that he had disturbed her, he tried to calm his breathing.

She whimpered softly, but quieted immediately when he whispered her name.

It was there, in the dark, that a man who had just experienced crushing hopelessness had been given a gift.

By hearing her breathe out his name in return.

**A/N: Let me know what you think! There is a bumpy road ahead. Well, actually, it's so bumpy that there really is no road. Maybe mountains to climb would have been a more apt . Thank you for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews, favorites, and follows. You guys are what makes our ship so amazing!**

Red was relieved that Lizzie had slept the entire flight without incident.

They transported her to the mansion in the middle of the night.

She woke briefly and Mr. Kaplan immediately shooed Red out of the room to help her get settled in.

Lizzie still hadn't spoken other than saying his name on the jet.

Whenever she came awake, even slightly, she would hum their music box song.

He was having the thing flown in from the states tomorrow, paying thousands and threatening many to ensure its safe arrival.

Anything to make her feel safe enough to come back to him.

He was going insane. He never regretting a killing any more in his entire life than when he killed the doctor too quickly. He wished more than anything for the chance to go back and peel the skin from his bones, to torture him for weeks on end, with no relief in sight.

He knew more than anyone that you can't change the past.

Her cuts had healed nicely, some not even scarring.

It had been weeks and Lizzie still hadn't spoken.

She performed the basic functions of living, but that was it.

She would walk, eat, use the restroom, and go to sleep when told. She was a robot, an automaton.

Something inside of her was just missing.

He took her for walks on the beach, showed her glorious sunrises and sunsets, read novel after novel to her.

He would hold entire conversations with her, one-sided conversations, but he had to keep believing that she was on the path to recovery.

At night, he slept in the room next to her, but always ended up on one of the chairs in her room.

He must have given himself away by bringing out a Chiropractor to tend to his back 3 times a week.

Mr. Kaplan had a large, overstuffed sofa brought in for him.

His thoughts were consumed with Lizzie. He didn't know how to help her. He brought specialist in from all over the world.

One suggested that she be institutionalized and Dembe had to physically restrain Red from strangling the man.

The rest suggested that she needed time. Not knowing the full extent of trauma meant that it was imperative to tread lightly when dealing with the situation.

So he would wait. Forever, if need be.

She didn't hum anymore as long as Red was present. When he read to her, sometimes she would smile.

Her skin glowed a sun-kissed golden from their times on the beach.

She had taken to wearing one of his hats outdoors, too.

During one walk, Red was regaling her with stories of some of his and Dembe's misadventures, when he felt the sun getting a little too warm for his liking. So he put his hat on her head for the journey back. When they reached home, he went to take the hat back and she let out a whimper of distress, so he let her keep it.

He would but her every single hat in Europe if it would just make her feel safe.

Red was sitting and enjoying lunch on the patio one perfect afternoon with Lizzie and Dembe when Dembe had broached the subject of business.

Not wanting to distress Lizzie with talk of him possibly leaving soon, he shook his head slightly.

"Raymond, you should probably get off the property for a while. Go out. You have been caring for her non-stop for weeks. She wouldn't want you to not take care of yourself in the process of caring for her."

"We'll talk of this another time."

"But-"

"Dembe, quiet."

He tried to be diplomatic, but there was no way that he would leave her until she was healed.

Dembe left the room, clearly unhappy with how stubborn he was being.

"Lizzie, don't listen to what Dembe said. I won't be leaving you anytime soon. It can all wait until you are well. Now, would you like to go out and sit on the beach?"

He held his hand out to lead her from the room when she stopped at the door.

He looked at her and for the first time since her ordeal, she made eye-contact with him.

She didn't look particularly emotional, just started as though she was waiting for something.

He wanted to grab her, shout his happiness to the gods!

"Lizzie, what's the matter? Don't you want to go to the beach?"

She didn't speak though, so he was left to wonder what she was thinking.

_Was he forgetting something?_

_The damned hat._

"Oh, your hat, I'm sorry sweetheart. I'll go grab it for you."

When he returned she was lightly humming again, not making eye contact.

_Damn._

He settled the hat on her head and he swore that she leaned in slightly and inhaled more than usual.

"Lizzie, I love you. You can sniff me anytime you want." He joked, hoping for another reaction.

Nothing.

He was disappointed, but wore an enormous smile on their way to the water.

When he grabbed her hand to lead the way, she actually gripped his hand, rather than just allowing it to rest within his.

They were making progress.

**Tbc…**

**A/N: Sorry if this chapter was boring. These things take time. Liz isn't just going to magically get well, so baby steps we go,lol. Thank you for sticking with the story!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I just wasn't to say thank you for being so freaking awesome and reading this! You guys are the best. Your reviews are like manna from heaven. It means so much that someone out there is enjoying my little hobby**

**Disclaimed, as always.**

**Chapter 6**

On the two month anniversary of her rescue, Red and Dembe were arguing about a possible threat to his organization that Dembe thought required Red's personal attention.

He still wasn't willing to leave Lizzie. It's not that he didn't trust Dembe to care for her, but he just _needed_ to be present. There was no way he would leave Lizzie and take Dembe with him.

For the first time in decades, he wondered if Dembe would refuse if he asked him to accompany him. Not that he would, but it would be interesting to see.

Before her ordeal, Dembe had been fond of Liz, just because Red loved her. Now though, he was in constant over-protection mode.

Her frailty was gut-wrenching. Her haunting, ethereal beauty was near painful to witness. It just brought out the protective instincts of everyone around her.

The entire team was on high alert. Dembe or Kaplan must have put the fear of god into them, or at least the fear of Raymond Reddington.

All hope was not lost, as light broke through the shadows in the form of sweet progress.

She could sit in a room alone now without humming. More and more, she would make eye-contact.

She smiled at Red a few times and once at Dembe.

The younger of the two men shed a tear when it happened.

Red didn't tell Dembe, but he cried the first time she smiled at him too.

She still didn't speak.

These triumphs may seem small to some, but to Red and even Dembe, they were everything.

A few days later, Lizzie was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast while Red used the phone in the study.

Dembe and Mr. Kaplan were also in the house to check on her if need be.

He was pretty sure that yelling would be involved, so he left the room so he wouldn't scare her.

He had been on the phone for about 15 minutes when a blood-curdling scream ripped through the house.

_Lizzie._ The first conscious noise to come out of her mouth in months and it was in fear.

His heart in his throat, he hung up on his associate without a word and tore through the house to get to her.

She was cowered in the corner of the kitchen with one of the security guards standing over her, talking low.

"What the hell are you doing in here?"

The urge to attack, with his bare hands if need be, was overwhelming.

The guard turned around, _Lawrence,_ he had been in Red's employ for years.

"Mr. Reddington, I came in to tell you about some suspicious movement near the property and when I entered she was fine, but stopped what she was doing to look at me. I said, 'It's ok, Elizabeth, go on and eat' and she went crazy! Stumbled trying to get away. I was afraid she would hurt herself."

Dembe skidded into the room, took one look at Lizzie on the ground and Lawrence standing over her and pulled his gun. "You need to step away from her right now or I am going to put a bullet between your eyes."

Lizzie was screaming "Red, help me!" over and over.

He walked slowly to her. "Lawrence, get out of here."

He'd let Dembe handle it. Hopefully Lawrence wouldn't be taking a dirt nap, but he couldn't bring himself to care right now.

All he could focus on now was getting Lizzie to calm down.

When he touched her arm, she jerked as if she was electrocuted.

"I won't go to him anymore, please take the bullet out. Save him! Please, please. I won't fight you anymore. Please!"

With that she threw body into Red's and started kissing up his neck.

He felt as if he might vomit.

"Lizzie, Lizzie! It's me, you're ok, and it's fine. I'm here. No one is going to hurt you."

She quieted down.

"Red?" she whispered and looked at him. Finally looked at him.

She was seeing him.

And all he wanted to do was weep and rage at the horrific implications of what just happened.

At Lizzie using her body to save herself from that monster.

"Lizzie. You're ok, we need to get off the floor and I need to call the physician in to look at you."

Her breathing turned ragged, she didn't speak again, but whimpered and closed her eyes tight, tears falling from the corners.

"Ok, no doctors. Let's go lay down. Mr. Kaplan can take a look at you, if you'd like."

He'd looked up to see Kate standing a few feet away, a syringe of what he assumed was a tranquilizer at the ready.

He firmly shook his head. He would not drug her after she'd shown such signs of life.

All he knew that she reacted, finally.

"Come on sweetheart." He helped her to her feet, but swept her up with a grunt when she swayed on her feet.

He carried her to their bedroom, laid her on the bed, and straightened to let Mr. Kaplan have a look at her.

"Red, please don't leave me." She whispered.

His heart broke for her, but he felt as if a weight had lifted off of his chest.

"Oh, Lizzie. Never. I will always be here for you. Tell me what you need. Anything you need, I will get, no matter what."

She clung to his hand and started to hum.

"Lizzie. Look at me. No humming. It's just you and me. You are safe here."

Quick and shallow breaths punctuated her fear, but she looked at him. Stopped humming.

"Red, where are we?"

He had no desire to trigger a memory that she'd buried so he merely asked "What do you remember, Lizzie?"

"I remember our argument on the phone. I remember thinking that you were a stubborn ass-hat."

He chuckled, ecstatic to see some of her fire returning.

"I remember hanging up on you and deciding to go for a run. I remember running and hearing footsteps behind me. Someone tripped me and we rolled into a ravine…I don't…I can't…"

More guilt was to be placed on his shoulders. She wouldn't have been running if he weren't a stubborn ass.

"SShhh…Lizzie. Don't try to remember. It's ok, if you don't. We are at a safe house on the Turkish coast. No one knows where you are and no one ever will, if that is your wish. Why don't we take a nap and then talk later."

Mr. Kaplan would have to examine her later, he could see she was exhausted from the encounter.

"Please just stay with me."

His voice was a deep rumble as he whispered "Always." He straightened his body to lay down beside her and she cuddled close while he peppered kisses in her hair. "Always"

Tbc…

**A/N: Let me know what you think**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Your reviews are awesome and let me know that I don't totally stink at this writing thing. I love our ship!**

**Disclaimed **

Red watched her sleep, enjoying the peaceful expression on her face.

After about an hour, he left the bed briefly to use the restroom and to update Dembe on how she was doing.

His friend was anxious. In fact, he was sitting outside of their room on a small bench in the hall.

"Dembe, you didn't have to wait out here. I would have let you know if there were any problems."

Dembe looked almost uncomfortable, looking down the hall, away from Red.

Then Ren remembered what triggered Lizzie's episode-_Lawrence._

His demeanor immediately sharpened. "What did you find? Was there really suspicious movement?"

A deep frown marred Dembe's brow "I am uncertain. If there was someone on the grounds, none of the security feeds picked them up. He says the man looks like Agent Ressler so I reached out to our contact in D.C. and they observed that he hasn't been stateside for almost a week."

Well hell. If Donald were getting close, that would be a feasible worry. However, Red just wouldn't take a chance with Lizzie's safety, no matter how small.

"If you didn't already kill him, send Lawrence to the estate in Mexico, have him ready the grounds for our arrival. It will give him something to do and keep him from yapping out of hurt pride.

If Donald's here, then we may have a problem. That man is like a puppy. Very enthusiastic and well-intentioned, but just manages to piss all over the floor. When Lizzie feels better, I'll give her the choice on whether or not she wants to see him."

He would have continued talking with his friend, but Lizzie started to make noise, moaning in agitation.

"Excuse me, Dembe."

Dembe nodded and returned to his seated position. That man was tenacious…and Red loved him dearly for it.

Lizzie was thrashing around on the bed, the blankets tangled all around her, restricting her movements.

Being as careful with her as he could, he untangled the blankets and hoped that would settle her.

It didn't. Her distress was palpable, her moans and whimpers like a knife to the chest. Her limbs twitching, reliving the past.

He couldn't take it. Didn't want her to have to take it either.

"Lizzie. Lizzie!" Nothing. He wanted to avoid touching her as he knew that nightmares and memories can easily become a tangled web of uncertainty of those around you.

He wanted her to be sure of him.

"Lizzie, honey, wake up. It's just a dream." With his statement, he shook her slightly.

She went silent and still, assessing the situation while trying to not let him know that she was awake.

"It's alright, Lizzie, it's me, Red."

She turned her head to face him, and immediately burst into tears. Loud, quaking sobs, left her small frame as he gathered her into his arms.

He held her tight and whispered endearments and promises into her ear, but she needed to lance the boil.

If she were remembering, crying could be cathartic. Hopefully she wouldn't retreat inside of herself again.

It may have been minutes or hours later, but Lizzie finally spoke, the last of her tears, drying on her face.

She drew in a shuddering breath.

Red tensed for what he knew was going to come.

"I remember."

He squeezed her to him in a show of support.

"I know."

It was at least a minute before she continued.

"I don't want to talk about it…with you."

His chest felt tight. "Sweetheart, you can tell me anything. I'll never share your secrets."

She sounded like she was going to cry again, voice quivering with unshed tears.

"Oh, I know, but I just am afraid. But I don't ever want to see another doctor again and I don't know what to do. Logically, I know it needs to come out. I know how to make myself better, but I can't do that to you. Not when I- I can't go back under again. That fog, I feel it so tangibly. I don't want to be crazy. I want to move on with-"

She didn't finish her statement, just breathed shallow, stuttering breaths into his chest.

He had a pretty good idea what she was going to say.

She was an extremely intelligent woman. The past couple months here notwithstanding, she had to have felt that their relationship was changing.

Before her capture, her extreme intolerance for him putting himself into danger told him that she cared a hell of a lot more than she let on.

She was trying to spare him, protect him. Because she cares for him.

He just wished it were enough.

"I'm sure that Mr. Kaplan or Dembe would be more than willing to help you talk it out, if you prefer that it not be me."

He tried, really tried to keep his hurt feelings from showing. Her frown told him he'd failed, abysmally.

"God Red, it's not that I don't want to share with you, it's that I couldn't live to see how you look at me change. For me to turn from a person to a, a victim in your eyes, would destroy me. I've been to hell, Red. Having you know, would take me right back."

He closed his eyes, hating that he couldn't be the one to help her through this.

"Are you hungry? We could eat and then you and Mr. Kaplan could talk-"

"No, I'm not going to be able to eat…and I would prefer Dembe. Mr. Kaplan is…intimidating."

He wasn't jealous. Really. At least not much. Maybe.

More than a little worried about Dembe hearing her story after the horrific childhood that he had.

But Lizzie didn't know, and it wasn't his story to tell.

Maybe Dembe was the right one for her to talk to. Dembe was a survivor.

"I'll go get him."

"I'd prefer it not be here, in this room. This place is ours…I don't want it…tainted."

He was ecstatic that she thought of this room as theirs.

Now, he just had to talk to Dembe. Without sounding like a jealous asshole.

Shutting the door behind him, Dembe stood again and knew something was wrong, just by how uncomfortable and upset Red looked.

So perceptive.

"Dembe. Lizzie remembers and is understandably unwilling to see a physician again. She doesn't wish for me to speak with her about it, but needs someone. Would you be willing, brother, to listen to her? She still finds our dear Kate to be intimidating. I think she needs to get it out so that she can get past it. But… I know with your past that it may be difficult to hear."

He was rambling, but thankfully, Dembe was so extraordinary that he knew just what to say.

"I will be happy to help her and you heal, so that you can move on together. Do not worry for me. I will listen and be there for her."

Tbc…

**A/N: Let me know what you think! Thanks again for being so freaking grand!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: You are getting an early update since I have to work a 24hr shift tomorrow and I don't want you to have to miss out**** Thank you so much for the lovely reviews and feedback. It makes all of this so worthwhile. **

**Disclaimed, as always. **

Red was worried about Dembe.

After Dembe and Lizzie had finished their talk, Dembe went to his suite, changed into work-out clothes, and tried to leave, he assumed, to go for a run.

He stopped Dembe in the kitchen before he could exit with "Are you alright? Is she alright?"

Dembe didn't turn around to look at him. He just whispered "She will be fine."

Dembe wouldn't look at him.

What had she told him?

He knew that Dembe would tell him eventually, but the fact that whatever she said was that disturbing to Dembe that he felt the need to leave was troubling, to say the least.

The question was, was he exorcizing demons of his own, or avoiding him because Lizzie's demons would be written on his face.

He went to find Lizzie, but she was nowhere in sight.

After frantically searching the whole house, he found her sitting out on the patio.

"Lizzie, I was looking everywhere for you. I was worried sweetheart."

She looked more peaceful, but still wary. Did she think he was upset that she chose Dembe?

"I think we need to talk, get this out of the way and move on. It's a little easier to talk about it since Dembe put things into perspective for me."

He was tense, ready to be strong for her, because that is what she needed him to be.

First, I want to thank you for being so unwaveringly kind and understanding. I know that things…I have been difficult. I also know that you are curious and won't stop until your questions are answered. I won't tell you everything, but I'll give you the Cliff's Notes version."

"He took me and cut me up day after day. When I was delirious from blood loss, he told me that he lied and never really removed the bullet from your chest. That you could die at any time. He could tell I cared about you because I called him to help when we needed a surgeon for you and he wanted to hurt me. He then used you against me, to keep me from being combative….Although, after a while, I no longer had any fight left. The cuts, the confusion from blood loss and sleep deprivation…the touching…I was broken. You saw me-I was broken. For so long, I just retreated inside of myself.

It was as if I was underwater, sounds and sights muffled, and I couldn't escape. And then I was afraid and the world was no longer under water and I could no longer hide.

I just played the music box song in my head, over and over again, because I knew I was safe with you. You would make sure that everything was alright. Thank you for that Red. I can't tell you how much it has meant to me."

Her face was almost emotionless until she reached the end when she was referring to him. Then it transformed into wonder, and something he hoped beyond hope was affection.

His voice was destroyed from emotion, breaking intermittently. "Lizzie…I will always do everything…in my power to make sure that you are safe and happy…I would like to apologize. I would have found you sooner. I should have found you sooner, but the FBI… didn't say one word to me or my people. I swear to you…I will regret until my dying day…that you were with that man for even a minute."

A single tear escapes through the corner of his eye.

He looked so forlorn, so absolutely wrecked that she realized how selfish she was being. He needed comfort too.

"Come here. Red."

She opened her arms, and he fell to his knees in front of her. She held him to her as if he alone could heal the pain. And maybe he could

"Red, I know you did everything you could. It was you that found me. I know you saved me. Thank you for being so amazing."

He was shaking, so overcome. He held her so tightly she could barely breathe, but she would do nothing to break the spell.

Maybe he cared for her as more than a friend, more than a tool in his arsenal. She loved him so very much, but nothing could ever come of it.

But in this moment, it felt so good to hold him, to be held by him in return.

Her arms her around his back, his body cradled between her knees, she really believed that everything was going to be ok.

Later that evening, Red was reading to Lizzie in the study when he finally heard Dembe return to the house.

Mr. Kaplan was sitting across the room, so he caught her eye and hoped she would get his message to distract Lizzie.

"Elizabeth, Raymond says that you are quite the chess player. Would you care to play a round with me?"

Lizzie blushed and looked at Red. She knew she was being handled, but would like the chance to exercise her mind and strategy skills.

"I'd be happy to Mr. Kaplan."

"Call me Kate, dearie."

They crossed the room together and sat around an antique, carved marble chess set that Red had been given by the king of Denmark, for getting his son out of some trouble.

Once they were settled in their game, he left to go see Dembe, his curiosity was killing him.

He found Dembe, dripping with sweat, chugging a bottle of water in front of the freezer while it hung open.

"That was quite a run, did you at least stop for regular breaks?"

"Raymond…I so very obviously need a shower. Can this talk wait?"

Dembe's chest was heaving with the strain to breathe.

"I think we need to talk sooner rather than later."

This needs to be over, and soon.

"I won't betray her confidence by telling you specifics. There is no easy way to say any of this this. Your worst fears came true. Every one of them. Don't kill yourself wondering. What's done is done. You can both move on. You are both survivors. However, I feel the need to stress that you shouldn't push her."

Red should be angry that Dembe was insinuating that he would be such a calloused ass, but in reality, he was relieved.

Lizzie had gained another champion and he could not ask for a better protector of his love, his entire life, than Dembe.

**Tbc…**

**A/N: Let me know what you think. Should I keep going? Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for such wonderful responses. I think there is only maybe one chapter left. Maybe. I might not get it all wrapped up in one. We'll see. **

**Disclaimed, as always!**

**Chapter 9**

There was something to be said about love and how it can change one's outlook on everything.

Lizzie thought she knew about love, but what she experienced before Red couldn't fill a thimble in comparison.

He only problem, was keeping it from spilling out, bleeding onto the fabric of the life they created together.

They are so damn close now. She knows she's going to ruin it.

She knows that one day he is going to tell one more story about a stupid fish and she is going to spill her guts.

His smile, his laugh, they are everything to her.

He takes every opportunity to touch her. To hold her hand. To wrap his arm around her.

To brush stray hairs away from her face.

Never pushy or demanding, as if he lived for the sole purpose of being there for her.

She could think of no greater feeling in the world.

Oh, she knew what Naomi said. But she was partly right.

Raymond Reddington was a master at making her feel as if she were the center of his universe.

Funny thing was, she believed him.

There was no longer a reason for his close proximity.

She was less fragile. Her nightmares were few and far between.

However, he still held her, each and every night.

Oh how she lived for the night.

He would kiss her cheek, wrap his arms around her and hold her all through the night.

He was a light sleeper so he was alerted immediately if she were in the grips of a nightmare.

If that was the case, she would wake up to him running his hands over her, telling her that he was there and he wasn't going to ever let anything happen to her.

She was blossoming with Red and it was all because she loved that man with every fiber of her being.

If only he felt the same way.

He may love her. She didn't doubt that he cared in his own way.

There was one problem: he didn't want her.

At night, he held her, always afraid that she would awake frightened of the weight of his arm, so considerate he was.

It wasn't his manners she was interested in right now though.

She longed to feel the press of his erection against her bottom as he held her.

Wanted to see the sparkling fire in his eyes when he looked at her body.

The scarring was minimal. You really could only see it in the sun. Pale crisscrosses that looked almost opalescent covered her body.

She was pretty pale in complexion though, and that's what saved her the shame of being noticeably disfigured.

She wanted Red to look beyond the victim. Beyond the prisoner and see that she was just a woman and she just wanted one man…him.

The shared kisses, small pecks that left her pupils dilated and wanting more. Constant holding and hugging.

How could he not know what she was feeling? She was showing him that she was ready to move their relationship to the next level, but he wasn't getting the memo. At all.

One night she felt particularly brazen and wanted to let Red know that she was ready for him to make a move on her, so she sat directly on his lap while he was talking to Dembe.

Red looked as if he would fall off the sofa if she hadn't been straddling him when she ignored the cushion he patted next to him and went straight for his lap.

He was going to fucking die. This was the literal 10th circle of hell. Every time he saw her, his erection was hard enough to pound in railroad ties.

He'd be damned if let her on to his lecherous thoughts though. The very last thing she needs is an old man pawing at her.

She was healing. She was gaining back her confidence and was playful and flirty.

He was happy that she felt comfortable enough, safe enough, to even be playful and flirty after what she'd been through.

He knew everything at this point. She had told him bits and pieces that caused him so much rage and grief that he thought for sure he wouldn't survive the crushing pain in his sternum.

He would be there for her until she was totally healed, no matter what.

She probably had no idea that she was affecting him so deeply.

Every morning in the shower, he would take himself in hand and wonder how perfect everything would be if she would want him as much as he wanted her.

Some days required two showers.

Thankful that his high school health teacher was wrong, because according to her, he would have went blind from excessive masturbation days ago.

Days later, Liz walked up behind him and covered his eyes, tried to disguise her voice in a deeper register, and said "Guess who?"

He laughed and said "I don't remember calling an escort service and requesting a busty brunette with a baritone, but I suppose I can cope, you'll just have to keep quiet."

He snaked his arm around her and pulled her down into his lap as she gave in to a fit of giggles.

God he loved her. She was so adorable.

Her giggles turned to happy shrieks as he nibbled on her neck and growled.

He slowed the pace of his kisses, becoming more intent on his journey to her mouth.

Ragged breaths, but no protests left her mouth. She was excited, turned on even.

They looked into each other's eyes as his mouth closed in on hers.

And then for the first time, Red felt the touch of her tongue on his lips.

It was electrifying, and galvanized him into action. He hugged her to him and hoarsely whispered "Are you sure, Lizzie? If you're not ready that's fine. More than ok. But I will admit that I have been dreaming of this moment for quite some time now."

Her eyes were glossy with excitement and passion she licked outside of the shell of his ear and whispered seductively.

"I want this Red. I want you."

TBC…

**Let me know what you think!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This is um…*blushes*…pretty steamy. If that's not your cuppa, please don't drink it. Thank you for all of your wonderful support! I love each and every review/response I receive! I can't tell you how thankful I am to be a part of the Lizzington FB page. You guys are amazing. I love checking each day to see the wonderful, and often hilarious antics that you guys get into.**

**Chapter 10**

He closed his eyes. Hearing her say the words out loud was every gift he had never had, received all at once.

"Red, look at me."

Looking into her eyes, she was an open book. The love and adoration that he felt, was mirrored on her face.

If only he wasn't so tainted, so full of shadows.

He was so undeserving of her love, her devotion.

He vowed right then and there, he would do everything in his power, to be deserving of her adoration.

She made him want to be a better man. To finally step from the shadows for good.

His inner turmoil was easy for her to discern.

"I see you. I see you and I see a man who would move mountains for his woman. I see a loyal ally and fierce protector. You see yourself as hideous, but I see a beautiful, intelligent man who has dedicated his life to my safety.

He was visibly uncomfortable with her assessment of his character.

But he wanted so badly to believe that there was redemption in her eyes.

That he was no longer the monster that she thought him in the past.

Overcome, he kissed her with abandon, crushing her to him, but he quickly pulled away, panting.

"I'm so sorry, are you alright? Are you hurt?"

A purely feminine, breathless laugh escaped her. "I'll never be afraid of your kisses, Red."

"You need to tell me if…if something is wrong. If I hurt or scare you. I've wanted you for far too long and I am afraid that I will forget myself…God, you need something better. More."

"Red, what I've had is something else, what I need is you, and there is nothing that compares to you."

What was he doing thinking that he could keep her? She spoke as if he hung the stars and right then, he felt as if he could. But reality was harsh and he was far older than her. What if she found him lacking. His scarred, aged body less than what she wanted for the rest of her life.

"Stop thinking, Red. You're a man, I am a woman. It's that simple."

But she was wrong, he thought. She was more than a woman, she was everything.

He swept her up and walked the short distance to their bedroom, kissing and nipping at her neck with every step.

He laid her down on the bed, half on top of her.

They met in a clash of teeth and tongues with a voracious need that neither of them could have anticipated. The more weight he put on top of her, the harder her breaths became.

Something was wrong.

He pulled back, looked at her, only to see her eyes clenched tight.

He swallowed loudly, frowning, hating himself for even going along with this. He should have known she wasn't ready.

"Lizzie, look at me. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with waiting, sweetheart. This doesn't have to happen until you are absolutely certain you are ready."

She finally opened her eyes, tears brimming.

"No, Red, I'm fine. It's just you were on top and I…do you mind if I'm on top? I just need to feel…"

"In Control" he finished for her. "Let me let you in on a little secret. There's nothing on this planet that I want more than to watch you, riding out your orgasms on top of me."

As if he had flipped a switch, his words lit a fire within her. Her discomfort was forgotten.

She shifted her body and kissed him again, all while moving and pushing his body down into the mattress until she was on top.

"I want you now, Red, I was wanting to make this good for you, but you'll just have to settle for quick."

His small laugh was self-conscious and completely adorable "Umm, I think that's my line, sweetheart."

She stood up and undressed, urging him to do the same with a quick "Race you"

She loved his laughter. "No fair, you have much less to take off."

Of course, she beat him, but he was enjoying teasing her by taking his time. She was breathless, her hands clenching and relaxing in a show of impatience.

"Come on, now that I have you here, I don't want you to change your mind."

His voice was a growl as he looked her up and down.

"Oh Lizzie, the hounds of hell could not drag me away from you right now."

Once he was finally undressed, he sat back with Lizzie quickly climbing on his lap.

He looked up at her, a goddess, too beautiful for the life that they were going to lead, but he couldn't and wouldn't ever let her go.

She raised up slightly. He hissed in a breath as she grabbed him and fed his length into her body.

Whimpers left her mouth as she took every last inch.

Breathing raggedly, he panted "Be careful…I don't want to hurt you."

Her lips met his, nibbling at first, then tracing along the seam of his mouth with her tongue.

He deepened the kiss while just resting firmly inside of her.

"Lizzie….I…god, I love you."

His words galvanized her into action. She rode him with deep, long strokes until both of them were mindless.

Every thrust was punctuated by Lizzie's repeated vows of love.

He couldn't believe that everything that he dreamt of was coming to fruition. He would never take her gift of love for granted.

It wasn't long until he couldn't stand the blinding pleasure.

She was so tight, so wet for him.

He hardened further inside her, reached between their joined bodies, and rubbed on her clit.

Her scream broke the silence surrounding them, followed quickly by his answering moans of pleasure.

She collapsed against him. Kissed him with every ounce of love she felt at that moment.

"I can't believe that we're finally here together. At times, I never even let myself hope that we would ever have this moment. If this is a dream, I never want to wake up."

Framing her face with his lean, very capable fingers, he leaned forward to press feather-light kisses on her brow, her cheeks, and finally, her lips.

"It's no dream. We get to spend the rest of our lives together. I for one can't wait to see the adventures waiting for us."

**End**

**A/N: Let me know what you think! Sorry it took forever, but I was unhappy with certain parts of this. I seem to always lose every ounce of confidence when it comes to the steamy stuff.**


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